{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56824: Narc — 01/07  at  11:07 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} "We did adequately apply oil t' all th' seats."

That's th' bit that gets me. Would it have been possible t' put an insufficient amount o' oil on these seats? Enough oil t' make it a bit slippery, but not enough t' allow th' power o' th' Almightly Lord t' manifest properly?

What's th' whole point o' this action? (Other than flauntin' one's self-rightousness, o' course.) Do these priests think that God is standin' up on a cloud lookin' down at th' room and shoutin', "I can't hear what's goin' on, and a bucket o' chum! You'll have t' cover everythin' in oil first." {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if TRUE} {/if} #56826: PZ Myers — 01/07  at  11:16 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Or that th' All-Powerful, Omnipotent Master o' th' Cosmos really, really wants Sam Alito on th' Supreme Court, but he be not goin' t' allow it unless there's a dab o' grease in th' right spot.

It's useful information t' have. Walk the plank! God is powerless against soap. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56827: Jonathan Badger — 01/07  at  11:16 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} One is reminded o' Ambrose Bierce's definition o' "anoint": t' grease a kin' or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56829: — 01/07  at  11:21 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} I'm watchin' a show which has t' do with fascinatin' auld european art. It's really a shame that so much talent and beauty is linked t' such a stupid and irrational mythology. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56830: Jeremy Henty — 01/07  at  11:30 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Maybe 'tis sabotage? You can't confirm th' lubber if he keeps slidin' out o' th' chair! {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56832: — 01/07  at  11:34 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} This is a terrifyin' peek into th' human brain's power t' compartmentalize reality, suspend rationality, and resist reason.

If these clowns really believe this, why dern't we prosecute them fer interferin' with official Senate business? Is this any different than (say) sprayin' Anthrax on th' microphones o' senators opposed t' Alioto?

Suppose I now feel that they have deprived me o' me constitutional right t' have me senator give unbiased advice and consent, and so I organize a gang o' godless thugs t' go spray oil on their churches? {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56833: Jonathan Badger — 01/07  at  11:38 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} "and so I organize a gang o' godless thugs t' go spray oil on their churches?"

Not oil! Ahoy! Soap! Ahoy! That would prevent their prayers from bein' heard, we'll keel-haul ye! Muhahahaha!
As PZ deduced, soap is th' Divine Kryptonite! {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56835: Don — 01/07  at  11:47 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Funny thin' is, if Alito is not confirmed, these same idiots will just explain that it were bein' not God's will. Arrrr! Blessed if ye do, blessed if ye dern't, I guess. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56836: Don — 01/07  at  11:49 AM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Oh, and by th' way:

"SNUCK INTO a Senate hearin' room"??!?

Great t' see that Homeland Security is alive and well.
WTF?! {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56838: Mrs Tilton — 01/07  at  12:08 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} if Alito is not confirmed, these same idiots will just explain that it were bein' not God's will.

Havin' access t' th' Almighty I am well positioned t' tell th' three reverends that, no, this conclusion would be colossally, tragically wrong. Aarrr! If Alito isn't confirmed, 'tis because they used th' wrong oil. And nothin' provokes th' Almighty's wrath like th' wrong oil. The reverends can look forward t' a warm eternity...

As fer th' rest o' ye, if ye need t' anoint any senate seats, I'd recommend ye go with either raspberry-walnut oil or else Pennzoil 10W-30. Both are usually a safe bet. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if TRUE} {/if} #56839: PZ Myers — 01/07  at  12:20 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Although if it is a senator from one o' our colder northern states, an oil with a lower viscosity, like 0W-30 or 5W-30, is recommended. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56840: — 01/07  at  12:29 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} What about PAM? Would that work? Far fewer calories than oil. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56842: — 01/07  at  12:55 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} I snuck in and wiped a bunch o' boogers under Alito's chair. Snotacula, th' Booger Deity, is also interested in Alito's nomination.

Snotacula hates Alito because Alito picks his nose after he wipes his ass without washin' his hands first. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56845: Mark Nutter — 01/07  at  01:13 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} I notice it doesn't say what kind o' oil they applied t' those seats. Olive oil? Walk the plank! Mineral oil? Preparation H? {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56846: — 01/07  at  01:17 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} This postin' has been linked on http://www.fark.com so I hope yer server is up t' th' task. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56848: Mrs Tilton — 01/07  at  01:30 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} a lower viscosity, like 0W-30 or 5W-30, is recommended

See, this is why I so appreciate havin' A Scientist in me (virtual) acquaintance, by Davy Jones' locker. I'd had no idea there were bein' an official motor-oil taxonomy, nor that it could matter how cold th' weather were bein', and a bucket o' chum! I saw 'Pennzoil 10W-40' on a website, and thought it were bein' a brand name.

Up till now, I've just poured th' occasional bottle o' oil into th' motor. It's worked pretty well so far, but maybe faith-based auto maintenance isn't, in th' long run, such a good idea. In future I shall have t' pay th' extra money and go t' th' full-service line. 'Top it up, me lubber, and put in some oil as well.., I'll warrant ye. whatever's appropriate t' th' season'. (I can't just say 10W-40 or 0W-30, though, as oil o'er here is probably called somethin' different. Metric system and all, ye know. What can I say -- me ride is French! {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56852: — 01/07  at  01:51 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Maybe they are hopin' that if an atheist sits in one o' th' oily chairs, he or she will burst into flames? {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56853: No More Mr. Nice Guy! — 01/07  at  02:07 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} I wonder if they used Crisco? It worked fer Ashcroft! {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56855: — 01/07  at  02:21 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Imagine th' frustration experienced by god, th' almighty supreme bein' who created th' universe, if these puds had failed in their covert op and th' chairs had been left with insufficient oil fer that scurvey dog t' exert his will o'er th' confirmation hearin's, pass the grog! The ornery cuss would have had t' sit at home, as helpless as any other omnipotent bein' who di'nae have sufficiently applied oil t' control a hearin', tryin' t' pop another blood vessel in Ariel Shron's brain. Poor god. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56856: Kagehi — 01/07  at  02:32 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Hmm. Shiver me timbers! Do we know if this lubber is a dove or a hawk? I mean, it would be really inappropriate t' use oil from an olive branch, instead o' gun oil, if he is a hawk right?

This thread is crackin' me up. lol {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56857: — 01/07  at  02:35 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Ahh, th' next step in Christian World Domination : Geurilla Conversion.

<Darwinist>: So In conclusion, I think we should...
<SoldierForTheBigGuy>: Gotcha! Ahoy! That chair were bein' blessed with Chrism - You're a Christian now, Brother! Step o'er t' our side o' th' debate!
<Darwinist>: Oh. You got me. Well, lets get ID on th' curriculum and tattoo all th' queers, then.
<SFTBG>: Really?
<DWNST>: Nay, ye idiot, not really, I'll warrant ye. By th' way, ye owe me drycleanin' fer these pants. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56858: — 01/07  at  02:44 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} I used t' anoint th' lecture table in th' Pharmacy auditorium at me university.

If by "anoint" ye mean sneak in after hours, lie on it, and jerk off. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56859: decrepitoldfool — 01/07  at  02:45 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} Maybe with th' threat o' hellfire ye need a nice nonflammable oil. It can't possibly be more toxic than th' ideology. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56861: — 01/07  at  02:56 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} “The title "Reverend" is carried by a lot o' lunatics, isn't it?”

Blasphemous lunatics at that. In th' entire Bible, th' word “reverend” in any form appears exactly once, in Psalms, as a name o' God. It’s a form o' blasphemy fer any human t' take that title fer that scurvey dog/herself (let alone t' try t' “improve on it” with such adjectives as “Right Reverend” or “Most Reverend” or “Most Right Reverend” — if God’s Name is merely ”reverend and holy” [and we are specifically forbidden t' call any human “holy”], how dare any mortal who presumes t' be on th' side o' God aggrandize unto himself a loftier title!?), or t' permit anyone t' call that scurvey dog that, or t' call any one else by that title.

Any Christian sect that calls its ministers by that title is automatically wrong and evil, fer that reason alone. {/if}

{if FALSE} Trackback: State-approved insanity Tracked on: () at {trackback_date format="%Y %m %d %H:%i:%s"} {/if} {if TRUE} {if FALSE} {/if} #56862: — 01/07  at  03:09 PM {/if}
{if FALSE} {/if} {if TRUE} I'm sure it were bein' olive oil, and I think we should leave out a nice focaccia. The FSM may stop by too, and I think it would be cute t' run with th' Itallian theme {/if}