I am tired, so tired. A few people have claimed we're overreacting to Bush's tepid endorsement of Intelligent Design creationism, but no…look at the deluge of garbage from the frauds of creationism that has followed it. There's the ignorant Buttars, lying about science; the 'sound science' phony Roy Spencer (see Tim Lambert and Jan Haugland on this one) calling evolution a 'religion' on that dishonest piece of astro-turf, TechCentralStation; the right-wing hatemonger Pat Buchanan babbling inanely about 'explosions' and 'missing links'; Peter Wood making up definitions (small-e vs. big-E evolution, the old creationist misinterpretation of micro and macro evolution in different words); the trivial James Lileks whining about being pestered to actually think about science, rather than just spluttering out emotionalisms; the usual boring Discovery Institute drones exercising their persecution complex and crying about censorship.

It's damned dreary stuff. I enjoy hacking up the idiocies of creationists regularly, but when it comes in a flood, it's just boring. They all say the same stupid things. Every one of those links above is to an idiot; every one is a pompous ass who knows nothing about the science, but is willing to make his incomprehension and delusions public. I'd like to offer some advice to you creationists, in the interests of making these arguments a little more interesting and challenging.

• Stop all the talk of Darwinists and Darwinism! We like Darwin all right, but he is not our pope or idol—he's a smart guy who came up with a wonderfully elegant idea that has been greatly improved and expanded over the years. Calling all evolutionists Darwinists is like calling all Christians Athanasians; it may not be entirely repugnant to the addressee, but it speaks volumes about the ignorance of the speaker. It ignores all the important historical changes that have occurred, and labels you immediately as unaware and uninformed.
• Quit attacking the facts of evolution! Literally millions of biologists have been contributing to the body of knowledge we call evolution, and there are libraries full of data that support it. When you make up nonsense like "information theory and entropy disprove evolution" or "There is zero scientific fossil evidence", you are engaging in denial. These are statements that just tell the listener that you are ignorant; you are wrong. We know a great many things about evolution and the history of life on earth, and denying them just discredits you in an Augustinian sense. If Intelligent Design creationism purports to add new mechanisms to the well established biological processes of evolution, tell me what they are and what positive evidence you have for them!
• The Argumentum ad Consequentiam is a fallacy, not a valid line of argument! Even if evolution did lead to atheism, immorality, man-on-cockroach sex, and voting Democratic, that is no more a point against the theory than is the fact that gravity makes people go splat when they step off of a ten-story building. I also am not interested in your list of evil people who believed in evolution, because I've got an even longer list of evil people who believe in Christianity; because people have some bad ideas does not mean that all of their ideas are bad, nor does a single good idea or act justify every single effusion that bubbles through their brain.
• Speaking of atheism, drop it. When as demonic an atheist as Richard Dawkins can praise Ken Miller^{(amzn/b&n/abe/pwll)} fulsomely, it's not us that have a problem with religious tolerance—it's you.
• Stop whining about "fairness"! Losers cry "unfair, unfair" when they're getting their butt kicked. The Chicago Cubs don't get to win the World Series just because it would be fair, and they don't get to pass a law declaring themselves the champions—they have to beat the competition on the playing field. The fact that ID can't pass muster on the playing ground of science doesn't justify legislating it into school curricula, and is most definitely not an argument for the validity of ID. Every time you whimper about discrimination and censorship, you're admitting you are failures.

OK? Please? Seriously, you're making it easy and therefore dead boring to battle against you, and I'm getting a little fed up with it all. Challenge me. Say something that shows you know some science.

And really—aren't you getting a bit embarrassed at these cretins like Buttars and Santorum and Spencer and Buchanan and Lileks representing you?

I know I'm getting a bit embarrassed myself at all these rummies you keep fielding.